A manager has to deliver bad news.
Welcome to the Stay Relevant advice column, where we answer readers’ burning questions about their careers and how thrive in a fast-changing workplace. Candace Moody, a career coach and writer with more than 30 years of experience, offers insight into what’s bothering you and what might be keeping you stuck.
Send your questions to candace@candacemoody.com.
Dear Stay Relevant:
I am a manager who just left a brainstorming meeting about an important initiative. When I asked for ideas, one of our team members came up with a terrible one. Not feasible at all. I think I did a good job staying neutral in the moment, but I could see the surprise on the other faces in the meeting. They were obviously waiting for me to respond right then and there.
The person who came up with the idea is young, passionate about her work, and very smart. I don’t want to embarrass her or crush her spirit. Can you help me with providing tough feedback without making her feel awful?
p.s.: I also feel guilty because I may have actually said “there are no bad ideas here.”
Wrong About Bad Ideas
Dear Wrong:
I can tell that you’re an empathetic manager who understands why people come to work. Your heart is in the right place, so let’s try some ideas that will help her come to her own conclusions about her idea.
First, something that sounded like a good idea in the moment doesn’t always survive the planning phase. You might get back to her and ask her to put a more detailed plan on paper, including timelines, necessary resources, and a budget. (Tell her it’s only a rough first draft, no more than a page, so she doesn’t invest enormous time and energy in a concept you know is a non-starter.) Then you can consider the idea on its merits, rather than judge it from a quick first impression.
In my experience, there are several flavors of bad ideas. Here are some of them, which you can present as feedback when she provides her plan.
- Does the idea add complexity or steps that are not in the best interests of our team or our customers? “Let’s have everyone fill out a 3-page form before the sales team calls so we know exactly what the customer is thinking about.” As she starts to imagine how she’d feel about that, she may come to the same decision you have.
- Is the idea, even if it’s a great one, too expensive or time-consuming to implement? If we have to change our systems or processes, hire more people, or make some other big investment of time or money, the Return on Investment might just not be there. It will be important for her to consider all these issues as she progresses in her career. She’ll hone her critical thinking skills and learn to consider things from the company’s perspective.
- Is there a way to accomplish part (or all) of what she intends with a different approach? You said she loved her work and has a long career ahead of her. Encourage her to think of what, how, and why as separate issues. If the what and why are important enough, maybe we can figure out the how another way. If she comes up with some good ideas that are complementary to her original concept, you can help her save face when the team meets again. “Courtney came up with an early concept in our last meeting, and I asked her to think a little more about it. After she did some research, she realized that her first idea wasn’t feasible, but she did come up with some other points we might consider.”
Then give her credit for challenging her own assumptions and being willing to “kill her darlings,” in the immortal words of English writer Sir Arthur Quiller-Couch, who used the phrase “Murder your darlings” in his 1916 book On the Art of Writing. Falling in love with an idea can make you dig in; learning to let go when needed is a big part of staying relevant throughout your career.
